Saturday 9 July 2011

Internet LARPing

Anger-induced rant
WARNING: Swears



Before I start, I'd like to make it clear that this post is an f-word-filled rant about role-playing on the Internet. If you don't want to read that kind of thing, go ahead and skip this post, 'cause that's all that's in it.

Last night I was chilling on Moonbase (the centre of the Snakeyverse right now, see the timeline from a couple posts back), when some guy showed up and claimed his planet had not yet been destroyed. To rectify this oversight, I despatched the carrier group HCG-134 Winter's Edge from their patrol at Theta Certisa. While the group was en route, Abraxas (the guy whose planet it was) started making some claims about his planet and the space around it. Considering the shieldpower and advanced nature of the ships in HCG-134, the conditions should have been no problem, certainly for the hyperbattleships and hypercarriers in the group. The thousands of cloaked ships Abraxas mentioned seemed more threatening, but certainly would not have had the sheer number of heavy weapons necessary to penetrate the shielding, saturate the defences, and destroy significant amounts of the hull of any TNP supercapital warship.

Upon arrival, drive ramships were deployed into the area (the Dark Rims) that contained the ''special conditions'' and the planet, to clear an extradimensional path for the larger warships' multidrives (the Dark Rims apparently had no subspace, U-space, hyperspace, jump space, cynospace, realspace or darkspace). And this is where the rant starts.

A TNP drive ram's engine does not randomly cut off just because there's some bullshit ''anomaly'' floating around. That guy's ships can move fine; a super-advanced ship specially designed to go anywhere can fucking well move fine too.
A TNP supercapital warship the size of a goddamn moon doesn't just fucking ''go down'' because you dropped a wormhole and a few ships on it. It's got dimensional shielding carrying an output of several billion terawatts per second, and makes its own gravity because it's that fucking big. Even if you could take down its shields, it'd take even your thousand ships about ten years to even put one shot on every 10m3 of its outer hull, and maybe centuries to do enough damage to actually kill it. And not just because of its armour and defence systems. Mostly because it's just that fucking big. And when it fires back? You don't just ignore it. It kills. It kills everything, because that's what it's for.
Also, your bullshit ''massive invasion that would kill all humans''? WOULDN'T FUCKING WORK. You've got the entire fucking universe to hit if you want to do that, most of it working in entirely unfamiliar conditions (Atmos), against literally millions of extremely well-armed warships fighting in their element. And then there's the AI battleships. Serious threat there whatever you do to the first carrier group, smartass. They bend reality to suit what they want to do, because that's how they roll. An AI battleship doing its job is worth ten hyperbattleships doing their jobs, and is also IN-FUCKING-VINCIBLE. Because that's how it works.
So no, I will not be shutting up and pretending your (also having a war with someone else at the same time) fucking bullshit fleet is capable of taking on a universe that hasn't calmed down from its last year-long superwar.
That is all.

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